The past year I have made a conscious effort to socialize less. The universe has also conspired to give me less opportunities so it worked out. I wrote more, thought more, felt more… I think I could safely say in a strange way, despite having less (people, clothes, distraction), I have been happier. Though I struggle with it now, because sometimes you do have to socialize and now, the only thing I want to do is return to my writing table. I am assuming it’s not entirely healthy- this social anxiety- but well, that’s a conversation for next time.
This last weekend this family friend aunt of ours was over (she has two daughters and is a single woman, her husband passed away some years ago). I was forced to be in that room by my mother, who was unwell, so I wanted to stick around just for her. I have to admit this was a particularly difficult social commitment to stick through- because of the conversation that she and my father seemed to be having. Regressive, uninformed and insensitive. But me, I have learnt to pick my battles wisely and stayed quiet. I think secretly I stayed quiet only so she leaves sooner than later. Also because I knew it would be so much fun compiling the responses.
So hey… here are a few responses aunty jee…
- You only marry once. The first marriage is the real marriage.
That statement, dear aunty, is so far from the truth that it shouldn’t merit a response but oh well. No, you don’t only marry once. For all you religious fervor, this is pretty un-Islamic and closer to another religion that you wouldn’t want to be associated with. And because religion is your language of choice, let me quote one example that should put this absurdity to rest:
The Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) was Hazrat Khadija’s third husband. She was his favorite and first wife.
I rest my case.
- You must only return from your husband’s house as a dead woman
Well, I don’t have a problem with this statement so much because really, most women are dead within many years before they actually do die, living with their husbands. Please don’t get me wrong, I feel marriage is a beautiful institution- possibly the best we have. But not many I know are genuinely happy or alive (I have my theory about why that is, but later). They are doing exactly as you prescribe they should.
Me aunty? Well one I know a thing or two about being happily married because I was. So no, one shall not only leave a marriage when death ensures there is no other way to be. One shall live. Happilly. To your fullest. How many marriages or lack thereof it entails is of very little consequence.
- Boys shy away from married woman (in terms of relationships/marriage)
I suppose I have written 500 words just to answer this one.
What can I tell you….Besides
It ain’t true…
Also, you’re missing out…
Also, come join us, its better here. I promise.